Do you mind if I share my heart for a few minutes and get a little transparent and authentic? No matter how much I think I love myself, something always happens to show me that I definitely need to keep working on it.
Like the year I bought a guy I had been dating for a short time (about 2 1/2 months- the dates had been amazing! He was fun and I always had a great time with him and I thought he felt the same way about me) Valentine’s Day gifts assuming he liked me enough to do the same. In fact, he asked me out on the day before Valentines Day. Sure sign that I wasn’t on his Valentine’s Day priority list. He accepted my gifts without any explanation of why he didn’t have anything for me and I was too embarrassed to say anything.
Just the simple fact that I was too afraid to bring up the subject and that he didn’t care enough about me to give an explanation of why he didn’t give me anything (he accepted the gifts and said ‘thanks’…nothing else) let me know I had a long way to go in the area of self love. It wasn’t so much the exchange of gifts that was the real issue.
The real issue was me. I keep attracting emotionally unavailable men! Maybe I’M not as emotionally available as I think I am. I’m not sure, but to be honest, dating has really been very complex for me. And when February comes around, its just another reminder of how much I still have to learn in the area of romantic love. So, I decided after that incident, that I would begin treating Valentine’s Day differently.
Now, when Valentine’s Day Comes around, I make it a point to take the entire month and make it a special month of self-care, self-adoration, and self-fulfillment no matter if I am dating someone or not.
Most women I know are Big Hearted Women. We love easily and are giving. In fact too giving. It’s hard for me to be the BITCH in order to get and hold a man’s attention. I don’t like having to memorize and live by all the games suggested by some of the popular self-help books. It’s like the suggestions are against my nature. Perhaps they really do work, but one thing for sure…before anything will work, I know in my heart, I have to love self myself more and feel I am worthy of a love I desire and deserve because the world reflects back to us what our beliefs are.
Self-love is also important when it comes to health. I had to love myself enough to take the action to change my body. I loved myself enough and took a leap of faith by getting a coach to help me. The coaching, education, and training I received that helped me lose over 100 pounds was the catalyst to my transformation, but if it wasn’t my dedication to loving myself enough to change my body, no coach or trainer could have helped me.
Back to Valentine’s Day. I am well aware that Valentine’s Day was created as a huge marketing tool to stimulate the economy, yet every year I fall prey to all the beautiful hearts and roses that fill every store during the month of February. It’s hard not to get swallowed up in the hype. And, no matter how hard I try to say to myself it doesn’t matter that I don’t have anyone serious in my life, I still feel a little empty instead of filled with love and compassion just for the sake of it.
That’s why I created the February Self-Love Challenge
Here’s how it works. For every day during the entire month of February (this year is a leap year, so we get 29 days instead of 28 days to love ourselves even more) everyday you celebrate yourself by doing a self-love action. You can make up your own or use a few of the following 45 ideas:
1.Take a bubble bath or a shower wearing a tiara.
2.Read about a new interesting topic.
4.Go on a self-love spending spree and stock up on super foods, organic skin care and coconut water, Juice Plus+ capsules or Complete Shakes (you can ask me about these J)
5.Go to your favorite hairdresser and get a new hairstyle or color.
- Make your personal health your priority. Make an appointment with a health coach, or research information on how to get healthier. It’s a simple act of love to yourself which will permeate all areas of your life.
- Take a Yoga, Pilates, Kickboxing class, or whatever turns you on….do it!
- Grow or buy a new plant.
- Do a detox.
- STOP doing something that no longer serves you. Smoking. Drinking. Hating. Resenting.
- Kiss yourself…on the shoulder. Hand. Foot. Tell yourself you love yourself
- Be still. Listen. Feel. Allow yourself to fill with the love and wisdom of the infinite
- Stay in your pajamas for a full 24 hours.
- Love. See your life through the eyes of love
- Appreciate the abundance that you are experiencing right now.
- Buy yourself that special something that you’ve been dreaming of. You deserve it.
- Take yourself out on a date.
- Kiss and cuddle a sweet, furry animal
- Fall in love with yourself.
- Drink a large glass of purified water. And then another one.
- Learn something new. A new skill. A new philosophy. A new habit. Expand your current life experience by adding to it.
- Thank yourself for all that you do.
- Choose to change your perspective to one that makes you feel good. You have the power.
- Start a healthy nutrition plan to: lose weight, gain weight, or simply to improve your health.
- Get a health/weight loss coach – Like me, Kamille Dawn Tirzah…I loves helping others because I’ve been there. Go to www.coachingwithkamille.com or leave your contact info in the comments.
- Apply for a new job
- Try something new. A new place. A new road. A new taste. A new person.
- Start a new business
- Chill with friends
- Do something you’ve been afraid to do.
- Eat dark chocolate.
- Dress up for yourself. Wear things that make you happy! Don’t dress to “attract a mate” or to impress your peer group, wear things that you like. Make yourself happy!
- Don’t patronize places that treat you poorly.
- Start dressing in a way, which makes you, feel sexy & confident… As opposed to just following what’s in style. Not all silhouettes suit all people. There are definitely styles that are best for individual body types. Once you know what works for you, make the most of it! Few things make you feel better than knowing that you look great.
- Dance in public.
- Go on a nature adventure
- Snuggle up early one evening with your favorite drink and just listen to the world pass by. Preferably on a rainy night.
- Keep your Radical Self Love totem on you at all times & start telling people about it.
- Explore your sexuality.
- Find a mantra & hold it close. Like; Om Namah Shivaya, roughly translated, means “Greetings to She Who I am Becoming” &/or “With great respect, I honor my heart”.
- Stretch in the mornings.
- Think of a way you could make your life easier — then do it.
- Make lists of reasons why you love yourself…
- Take a 2-minute self-appreciation break.
- Try something new.
- Make a green smoothie.
Want to make it really fun? Get a special Valentines Day Journal and write all your actions steps in it and keep tract of what you learn during the process. It will teach you a lot about who you are and how to love yourself 100%.
When I look back on that disastrous Valentine’s Day, I don’t blame him or even myself. There are no bad situations only learning experiences and I look at every situation as an opportunity for self-growth and discovery.
Also, regardless if I want to attract a love relationship or any relationship for that matter and if I want to be treated with love and respect, I have to love myself first, so much so, that everyone I come in contact with feels the love energy around me and loves and respects me easily and naturally. Most importantly, the creator, the divine source of all that is love ME and YOU and has a silver cord linking it’s heart to ours and we learn must tap into that love, guidance, and support in order to experience the free flow of love and joy.
If you feel the same and if you feel this article is a help to you, please let me know your comments below.
In the meantime JOIN THE CHALLENGE and enjoy this month of loving yourself. You deserve it!